complete and utter shit.

you know,

i loved you

i really loved you

and i waited

i waited forever

and it killed me

i wanted to die

and i truly thought

you were the only one

the only one to get it

but it was all a lie

don't you see that?

the guy i fell in love with

knew me

he loved me

he would've died for me

he might have been

lost

and scared

and chubby

and crazy

but he loved me

and god he wasn't mean

he didn't know how to be mean.

but

he left

he left me

he left us all behind

he left me running after him

if only you hadn't kept on looking back

i felt hope

every single time

it slammed me in the chest

it knocked all the wind out

it, it

i didn't leave you.

so for a while,

i tried to pretend

like it was all good

you were the same

we were best friends

you knew it all

you loved me most

you

wanted

me

back

-god im so good at it

im the best

ill pretend forever-

and so you were

you were

the best

i believed it

it was the truth

but then i woke up on wednesday

and the sun was gray

and the wind was cold

and i had my scarf

and i had my tea

and i was warm inside

just the way i like it

and

and

and

i realized that everything in my head

was complete and utter shit.

and i looked at it

sitting there

pathetic

on the ground

and

and

and

i walked away.

and fell asleep that night smiling.

everything breaks my heart.

lyrics

I need someone
a person to talk to
someone who'd care to love
could it be you
could it be yo-ou

the situation gets rough,
and I start to panic
it's not enough
it's just a habit
and, kid, you're sick
darling this is it
well you can all just kiss off into to the air
behind my back
I can see that stare
they'll hurt me bad but i won't mind
they'll hurt me bad they do it all the time
yea yea
yea they do it all the time
yea yea
they do it all the time
yea yea
they do it all the time
do it all the time
they do it all the time
do it all the time
they do it all the time
do it all the time

I hope you know that this will go down on your permenent record
oh yea
well don't get so distressed
did I happen to meantion that i'm impressed

I take one one one cause you left me and
two two two for my family and
three three three for my heartache and
four four four for my headaches and
five five five for my lonely and
six six six for my sorrow and
seven seven for no tomorrow and
eight eight I forget what eight was for but
nine nine nine for the lost gods
ten ten ten ten for everything everything everything

well you can all just kiss off into to the air
behind my back
I can see that stare
they'll hurt me bad but i won't mind
they'll hurt me bad they do it all the time
yea yea
yea they do it all the time
yea yea
yea they do it all the time

do it all the time
do it all the time
do it all the time
do it all the time
do it all the time
time time time time
timetimetimetimetimetimetimetime
do it all the time

Kiss Off, The Violent Femmes

(soundtrack of the car rides of hannah and aubrey)

my every thing.

my everything and my nothing.

my nothing.

once upon a time,

goodbye.

scared (part one)

everyone is so scared

and it just pisses me off.

all the faces

all the flipping out

and everybody silently screaming

while loving it all the way along.

run away,

run as hard as you can

get lost among the trees

and run into yourself.

yell, scream, put it all out there

and feel no better after you cry

pretend like you never really cared

about what would happen to yourself.

flip the switch,

and the machine shuts down

but the lights flip on

and all you can see is yourself.

love is nothing to run from

the future is nothing you can learn from

the mirror is nothing to hide from

you're afraid of no one else

nothing else

but yourself

you dont realize

and that's why

you'll never be brave,

you'll always be scared

of you.

scared (part two)

get out of my head

and out of my bed.

and if you dont want to leave

and if you need to stay

come riding around the block

toss your bike

and knock on my door

fear isnt an excuse anymore.

you know i want you to come

i know you do

you know i love you

i know you do

you know you love me too

ill mirror it back to you.

just remember,

you've got to remember.

i'll rewind it back

rewind the past

and we'll watch it slowly together

stopping at all the best parts.

just remember,

you've got to remember

cause that's all i have to give anymore.

id like to tell you that you dont scare me anymore

id desperately love to be brave

but the images

oh the memories

are still ringing in my head.

i lay on your chest

i look at the stars

i sigh.

and i grip your shirt for dear life

thinking it will anchor me there

long enough to stop feeling sick

and fulfill some forgotten forevers

but everytime i walk away

and forget to look back

i know youre already closing the door

i know youre already missing me too much

i know youre already getting scared

i know youre already running away

and im already healing from the loss

of something i theoretically still have.

something that i had just held in my hands.

my one biggest fear

is the end of forever

but you,

you...

your running and hurting

once it gets too deep,

makes it seems like your biggest fear

is me.